Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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