Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
