I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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