dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
