just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
