i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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