I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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