I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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