Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
