i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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