So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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