i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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