I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
