It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
