All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
