i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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