He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
