If i come over, it means nothing
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
