How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize