You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
