Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
