More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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