is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
