Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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