omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
