We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
