I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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