Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
either way he was missing a nipple.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
