Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
