i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
