Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
