Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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