Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
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do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
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Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i out mim tonsoeep
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