Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
