Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
