The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
