I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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