Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I am naked and annoyed.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
