I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize