Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
