Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
