If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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