we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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