I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
