The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize