Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
this is an emotional support booty call
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
