I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
