There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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