thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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