I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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