Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
