I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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