Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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