Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
