Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
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I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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