He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
