Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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