The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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