I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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