White coat. Heels.
I can text with my tongue
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
