i just google imaged poop.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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