Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
