So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
