So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
