He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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