my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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